Testimony of Thomas W.

At the end of the year 1988 I was born as the second of three children of my parents. I had the privilege of growing up in a loving family, which also did not break in any disputes, as is unfortunately so often the case. I got all the time many good values taught, especially due to the fact that my parents came to believe in the living God during my early childhood. This was also the reason, why I regularly visited a church since my seventh year of life and heard lots of biblical stories there.

Even as a child, my thirst for knowledge was clearly visible and so I was quite interested in what I heard, believed in the existence of God and also prayed to him. Even my conscience worked diligently and led me repeatedly to ask God for forgiveness of my sins. But sadly, at that time I lacked both – a real understanding of the gospel and true repentance of my sins. Church, the Bible and prayer were rather like a minor matter for Sundays and evenings – instead I was interested in football, friends, school, and more or less music. When I grew older, it became also increasingly visible, how my character is totally permeated by sin – mainly in numerous lies, insolent and proud talking, stealing against my parents and other people, envy, physical violence against my brother and a very selfish attitude to life.

A life between two poles

Even with about ten to thirteen years my life was moving between the two poles of fear of God and godlessness.
At the one hand, I liked to go with my family to Christian family camps and was looking forward to the varied program, which was offered, as well as to what we discovered in the Bible. In our church in Wiesbaden, I was happy to visit the meeting for teens and at home I regularly read my Bible reading plan.
On the other hand, to me as a young person more and more ways were offered, to act my indwelling sin out: First of all, my rebellious behaviour against my parents, my mendacious and quarrelsome talk, and my selfish and malicious thought life gave a clearer and clearer witness of the power that sin had over me. I often also longed for a life, as my classmates had it – without all the limitations, imposed by parents, church and Bible, this seemed to me very attractive.

One evening, at the age of twelve years, I had a conversation with my mother concerning my problems to fall asleep. We had already tried many things to find a solution for this problem, which was very exhausting for me – but in vain. In the conversation at this special evening my mother told me that only Jesus Christ could really help me, because He is Lord of all. That night I spoke a prayer of conversion.
Although since then it was getting better for me to fall asleep, it is the above-described contrast in my life that makes me doubt today that I was actually born again that night: The 180-degree turn in my life failed to appear, as well as spiritual fruit. Besides, I also think that I lacked a real understanding of the Gospel: I had no real comprehension of the depth of my depravity, of the ugliness of my sin, the holiness and justice of God, and finally of the importance of His death and His resurrection.

Unexpected insights into theory and practice

At the age of fourteen, after all, God led me in His grace to participate in a two-week summer vacation Bible school. This proved itself in two ways as inexpressibly valuable to me: First, I received there many, many hours of classes on various books and issues of the Bible. It fascinated me how interesting and relevant the word of God was – and that it seemed to contain much more than I ever heard and thought. Second, I experienced two weeks with believers – and this was a big contrast to my everyday life in school, sports club and even the church we were going to, where I could not find anyone in my age, who loved Jesus Christ and wanted to follow him. I also missed adult leaders and models in my environment, who were marked by a deep knowledge of the Word of God and a corresponding life. But on these two weeks in the summer, which were very influential for me, I saw and experienced all this!

And this time should have its consequences:

First, in me increased a hunger for the Word of God and Christian doctrine. Since I was missing this largely in my church and in my family – I probably obstructed the access to benefit of the faith of my parents and my older brother in order to grow in the knowledge of God through my behaviour towards them –, I looked for other aid. This was primarily in biblical literature, but also in the one or other Christian camp and sermon. And in the search for more preached Word of God in the church, I finally joined another church in my town.
Second, I flirted less with the idea of living like my classmates, but invested in friendships with young people in my age, who wanted to follow Christ. These relationships helped me to reflect about living a spiritual life in this world and also to practise it. Furthermore I am convinced, that the fellowship with believers influenced my thinking and talking and beyond that, encouraged and inspired me, to tidy my life with God’s help.

How God acts

One year later, I again took part in such a vacation Bible school. At those two weeks I suddenly was bothered by thoughts about the assurance of salvation, and then I struggled to know whether I am saved, or what I should do therefore. Aware of the saving message of the Scripture I went down on my knees and prayed for deliverance, but I realized at that time, that my life already belonged to the Lord Jesus Christ.
I do not know when exactly the point was, when I was born again. Maybe as a younger child already, maybe that particular night when I was twelve, maybe during the year with 14/15 years, in which so many changes took place in my life. But what I can say with certainty in review, is that the Lord has given me faith and repentance, and through that assurance of my salvation according to the Bible.

And that's what makes me so incredibly happy: God had intervened in my life and made a new creation out of me. Quickly, the once desired way of life which I saw among my friends and acquaintances, lost all his glamour, because I learned to see things through the eyes of God. The truth that I could find in the Bible and its life-changing power thrilled me and I was motivated more and more to honour God through my life and to be a useful servant for the Lord of Lords! After many, many books, sermons and camps I could finally find also a church in which I get God's Word taught in a not known depth and density. Besides, in this new home, God blessed me with many more blessings: It's such an encouragement, to spend time with people who have the same goal in mind as I, and try to achieve this aim in such a devoted manner. Also it is a privilege to serve in God’s church, as being a part of the body of Christ – to His glory!

Amazing Grace

I am astonished at God's wonderful gracious work in my life!

Why can I wake up every morning and be glad about God's creation and the life He gives me, although my first sin would be enough to take me forever to hell?

What am I, that God cares about me, looks after my life, wants to save me from hell and finally takes human shape to be able to die in place of me?

Who am I, that I may speak to the living God as a father, friend and brother?

What can I accomplish, that the almighty Creator calls me in His service to proclaim His name and do the works, which He prepared in advance for me to do?

I had no appropriate answer, as to bear witness with Paul: “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.” (1 Corinthians 15:10a)

Soli Deo Gloria!

Amen.